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Unforgiveness wrenches a hole in your soul. It leaves residue, like the bitterness you can have after taking some medicines; no matter how hard you try you can't get rid of it.
It's like a stench that lingers in your nostrils, just when you think it's gone you get a whiff of it and without coming to terms with the fact that you're still harboring resentment and bitterness the evidence of it will ooze out of you when you least expect.
People around you will be aware of it from your speech and actions but you won't if you let it become a part of you – it will be as natural to you as air. Don't let your life and personality be destroyed by this illness. You don't have to let it take over your life. You don't have to let it touch everything and everyone you touch.
You can be healed. All you have to do is forgive - a simple yet hard thing for most. You don't have to feel like it, you don't have to want to, you just have to see the need for it.
I (God) can help you, if you let Me. I (God) don't want to see unforgiveness destroy your life and the plans I (God) have for you. I want you to be healed. I (God) want you to be whole but that can never happen if you continue this way.
Let Me place the Balm of Gilead on your heart. Let Me bring closure to this situation. Let Me once again bring you peace; bring you joy. I can, if you'll just forgive.
Once you forgive then I can forgive you. Once you lay your pride aside, once you do this thing that seems so hard but has such great rewards, you'll see it was all worth it. I love you. Your unforgiveness doesn't and can't stop Me from loving you, but I know there is a better life; a greater life if you'll just lay this down and let it go. To forgive doesn't mean forgetting what was done to you, though you might once you're healed, nor does it mean you have to have a relationship with the person ever again, though you might once you're healed.
Forgiveness means you allow the wound to close. It means you let the poison drain. It means you let the burden go so you can walk upright and not bowed down under the weight of it. It means being free and He whom the Son sets free is free indeed.
Don't keep yourself imprisoned in a prison of your own making - your own making because you won't let go. I'm not saying what was done to you was right, needed, necessary or deserved, I'm just saying continuing to think, ruminate on it only makes the matter worse and only makes you feel worse. Wouldn't you like to do other things besides continually play the scene(s) over in your mind with various endings - some as the situation really happened and others with you saying or doing what you wish you would have, could have or should have making you more frustrated, angrier and upset with each reflection.
Give your mind rest, give your body rest; with each passing thought about this you're just increasing your blood pressure making yourself sick while the perpetrator, the one that did the crime, isn't even thinking about you.
For your sake - forgive. For your well-being - forgive. For the sake of your spirit - forgive and for the sake of your soul - forgive. I (God) can help you if you let Me. Just say "I forgive and I let it go, all the hurtful, angry, bitter, resentful feelings. I let go in Jesus name. Amen
" Now don't be surprised if thoughts of the incident rear their ugly head or the feelings appear again just each time this happens just say "I forgive --- " and eventually you will.
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